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What your parents are doing? Yeah, that’s social correction…

December 5, 2020

I watched a video by Kerwin Rae where he was talking about how our friends and family can hold us back. He described as what he termed “social correction” and found that to be an absolutely awesome way of describing it. You see, we like to think of ourselves as unique and above the animals we are surrounded by but in the end, our primary instincts, despite everything we’ve built up around them to “tame” them, are derived from our animal ancestry. We can still influenced by “herd” pressures.

There’s a benefit to being one of a “herd” or group. There is protection, shared resources and other advantages to be among a social group.  When people cooperate, there are vast gains they get. And when they don’t cooperate – when one person breaks off from the pack – it can mean bad things for the group. *Danger, danger – abort, abort* — kind of things. Think of the stray zebra separated from the herd – they get eaten by the lion. There is safety in the group.

Now take a moment and think of what that means to your family and friends when you go off to college. Really think about it…

For eighteen years you’ve been part of their group. Now you’re leaving it. Maybe you’ll return, and maybe you won’t. Logically, all of your family: your parents and even your siblings know that this is what happens in our modern day society. You grow up, you move out of the house and do your own thing. It’s a normal part of our lives but it doesn’t override thousands of years of programming in our brains that says someone leaving the group means serious jeopardy to them and the group.

So what happens? In all of our social constructs, when someone steps away from the crowd, we take actions – big and small – to bring them back to the group. The urge is incredible powerful to do just that too. It can be for your good and that can keep you from achieving more in life. This is what people are saying when they say you are the sum of the five people you surround yourself with. Think of all the times your friends convinced you to go out when maybe you should have been studying. Think of all of the times, your parents influenced you in some way to do something that maybe you might not have on your own.

So when you parents or friends start pressuring you to “fall in line”, act like them, or do what “we all do” – it should be sign, a red flag to take extra care and think extra hard about what you do next. You can’t live your life based on their wants and desires. You and only you have to live with the consequences of your decisions in this life. It is also a really good reason to surround yourself with people who are going to be those positive influences you need to push through hard times and tough situations.